Are you intentionally and consistently creating powerful connections each day?
Guess what? Today is my birthday! Usually on my birthday, I use it as a time for reflection. It is a great time to ask how the previous year went and what I want to create over the next 365 days. And also, as we should all do, ask ourselves how we can get a little better each and every day.
The other day, I was walking my dog, and had one of those cool epiphanies that I felt I had to develop the idea further and then share with you. I asked myself what it really takes to have the kind of connection with my dog that allows me to walk her off leash, even in a busy city area. And then it hit me that the same concepts apply to all our relationships…
Relationships should not be about power struggles or secret bank accounts. They must be built on proper foundations.
So today, I grabbed a beer, shot this video, and am sharing these principles with you. And below the video I have written out the concepts.
Bonus ending in the video: my six pound dog being a beast
I am always busy doing training for individuals and teams, helping them improve their sales and performance. We end up covering many high level ideas and a ton of content. Sometimes it can seem daunting to try and remember everything, so repetition is huge. But more importantly, you should always try and simplify ideas down into key concepts you can easily remember and test yourself on all the time.
That is what this is all about. If you can remember these three guiding principles for building great relationships, you will have a much easier time connecting and creating long term success.
Relationship Principle #1: Trust
I wrote previously on how trust creates huge opportunities in selling and I know how important it is in every relationship. If you don’t have trust, what DO you have?
In order to get trust, you must be great at giving trust. If you want people to open up to you, you need to open up first! There is huge strength in being vulnerable. What I often see is that people want others to trust them, but only if they earn it first. What does that mean? I hear of major relationship challenges that arise simply because of suspicion.
So how can you be immediately trustworthy to those around you? Be consistent, do what you say you are going to do, and be honest and open.Give trust to get trust. It’s that simple.
In selling, use the power of mirror neurons and demonstrate an openness that invites them to open up to you. This creates better conversations and allows you to provide REAL solutions!
Relationship Principle #2: Boundaries
This is an area that is often underutilized, especially in sales. You want others to like you, so you make exceptions, bend over backwards, and allow people to control you.
Of course we want to make others happy, but when you don’t have clear boundaries, you end up losing in the end. You lose respect, you lose the ability to serve at your highest level, and you end up sacrificing your values just to stop others from being upset.
When you establish some ground rules, you actually HELP the relationship become stronger. When you are accountable to yourself and others, that’s huge! And if you help then be accountable as well, even better.
And in this world of surface relationships, it is super important that you lead by example. Show others what it means to be in control of yourself, your calendar, and what principles you are guided by. Not only will you gain more respect, but you will make everyone’s life around you much easier.
Relationship Principle #3: Love
Lastly, you gotta have love, baby!
At the beginning of the year, I posted about the power of being authentic as fast as possible and I will be honest, it has been both difficult AND rewarding.
When you are moving through the world, what is your energy like? Have you set your intentions to greet everyone with a warm smile? Or do you wait to see how THEY are first? What would your days be like if everyone you interacted with felt loved by you? Think on that for a moment…
A big one for me is the idea of neuro-associations. In a previous video, I explained this concept where you work to make sure that the first and last thoughts that others think of you are what you want. If you ALWAYS greet people in the right way, they will always think of you that way. And when you leave them, do you leave them in a happy way? If you are conscious of this, it makes a huge difference. In between, you can still have disagreements, or difficult conversations, but make sure that love shines through!
Constant Improvement: Test and Track Yourself
If you are serious about applying these concepts, write them down. Just the three words:
And as you go through each day this week, do some reflection and ask yourself how closely aligned you were with these principles. Only by bringing ideas like this to the front of your mind and being conscious about them can you make improvements.
Dont judge yourself. Just be aware and observe.
Each week, see how much that helps set your mind in the right place.
If you really want to build great relationships, increase your sales, or even walk your dog off-leash, you have to be willing to put these ideas into practice every single day.